Letting Go of the Fear of Failing: My fastest race in 1,371 days
I think it’s a normal thought to have...the thought of being afraid to fail. Sometimes I live in fear that the next thing I go for will crash and burn. This causes me to respond with avoidance, or setting myself up for disappointment. Knowing I controlled the outcome, it doesn’t sting as bad. The more this happens, the worse I become in pursuit of being true to my goals. I have been in this mindset often, especially returning to competitive running and being a part of the elite world. It’s tough. A lot of the times I feel as if I don’t belong and in turn I control things to the point of appearing as if I don’t. This year I have told myself to try and slowly chip away at the fears and anxieties and just be that girl who loves to race and be competitive like I know that I am.
This past weekend I had a race, and guess what? I didn’t win! You know what makes this perfectly OK in my mind? I gave it my best shot. Yes, it is hard watching the FloTrack video of me getting passed in the last second by a college runner for everyone out there to see, but I couldn’t be more proud of how my mind was during that race. In fact, it pumps me up for my next race. During this race I wanted to remember the feeling of truly pushing myself and not completely wondering, “what if” at the finish line. My coach reminded me that this was my fastest 1500 in 1,371 days...a long time coming but so validating of all my hard work.
To everyone out there: you’re going to fail several times, but you’re also going to see a whole lot of success. That’s a part of life. I can guarantee you that when I do my best and still fall short, it is a hell of a lot better than self sabotaging or knowing I could have given a little more of myself into something. Keep trying and failing, and that something will eventually turn into success.