Fueled by Fire: Sammy + The Sir Walter Miler
For the past 5 years, I have been a spectator of the Sir Walter Miler. I have always been in awe of what these athletes could do, and I dreamed of being in that place one day. As college went by, I saw myself within reach of being one of those girls.
In 2015 I reached my mile PR of 4:36, and still felt like I was capable of more. Unfortunately, my approach was extremely unhealthy and landed me in a treatment center for four months. Running took the back seat for a year due to struggles with bulimia, binge eating, depression, and anxiety. My confidence in my abilities were non existent. Coming back to the sport was one of the hardest things I have gone through. I couldn’t even run an 8-minute mile without walking. The experience was humbling and instilled so much patience in me.
Fast forward three years, I am the healthiest I have ever been mentally and am working towards getting to my peak physical shape. With a coaching change, I have made strides that have slowly chipped away the insecurities of not feeling capable. Recently I made a commitment to shoot for the 2019 Sir Walter Miler instead of going for it this year. I felt that having an extra year would make me more prepared for success in that race. I already planned on doing the pop up championship for 2018, knowing that there was a chance I could auto qualify for the event in August. I was set with my plan to forgo this year mile if I won and train more to get into better shape for the 2019 season. But my vision changed when I won the championship with a time of 4:51 and earned my spot in the championship on August 3rd. With several conversations from peers, I decided to take the opportunity.
At first, I was terrified of going into a field of women that have already run 20 seconds faster than my time this year. I was frustrated that I couldn’t be at that level now and wondered why it was taking so dang long to even come in reach of my PR. But I came to the realization that I can’t wait for the perfect situation to take an opportunity like this. Sometimes you have to put yourself in the fire to make the next step. I want to do this for myself instead of worrying about how I am going to look compared to the others racing.
If you have doubts, tell yourself you belong there and never for a second let someone tell you what your abilities are or are not. I know there is more out there for me and I am excited to start giving myself a chance regardless of the outcome.